Wednesday, March 18, 2020

Megalodon - The New Evidence

Megalodon - The New Evidence Does Megalodon: The New Evidence present a compelling case for the existence of this giant prehistoric shark? If youve just watched the encore of last years Megalodon: The Monster Shark Lives (retitled, for Shark Week 2014, Megalodon: The Extended Cut) you probably havent gotten your hopes up. Check back here for live updates during the show! 10:00 PM EST: Well, Discovery is sticking with the big lie. Megalodon: The Monster Shark Lives is still a documentary, Collin Drake is still a marine biologist, and Megalodon is still among us. Also, reaction in the scientific community was mixed, even though no reputable scientist has backed the show. Apparently, the soap opera actor who plays Collin Drake has furiously been pursuing leads for the past year, and Discovery has the temerity to sit him down opposite the shows host as if hes a genuine scientist. 10:03 PM EST: The phrase Lazarus taxon, as pronounced by Collin Drake, must have taken quite a bit of rehearsal. No, you cant adduce the existence of Megalodon from the (established fact) that coelacanths still prowl the worlds oceans. 10:06 PM EST: Basically, the documentary got my name out there, says Collin Drake, the only true fact stated on this show so far. Also, cute of Collin to make fun of viewers obviously photoshopped Megalodon snapshots, in light of Discoverys own photoshop shenanigans. 10:09 PM EST: Jake Shelton, who is he? A quick Google search is unproductive. If anyone has any leads, email me right away at dinosaursaboutguide.com. PS, that enhanced image of Megalodon chomping a whale is one of the most laughable effects ever seen on reality TV. 10:15 PM EST: New evidence from Collin Drake, from an unnamed U.S. government agency. A satellite photo near Sao Paolo, Brazil, looks like a giant oil spill. but is actually a swarm of microbes. And look, theres a 70-foot shark right nearby, captured in full (fake) silhouette! U.S. National Geospacial Intelligence Agency (yes, it really exists) media relations liaison Linda Strong weighs in. its fun to speculate, she says, but she wont play along with the Megalodon hoax. This one doesnt seem like an actress, she may actually be a genuine person! 10:26 PM EST: The guy who plays Collin Drake, Im afraid to say, isnt a very good actor. For some reason, hes talking about a whale with a century-old spear embedded in its hide, which seems to be veering a bit off track. But hey, Megalodon was as big as a giant whale, right? 10:30 PM EST: Mirena Malik, who is she? No evidence of her existence in Google. If shes really from the U.S. Geological Survey, she should be fired for sharing a table with Collin Drake and going along with this farce, though admittedly Collin is getting better at the scientific jargon. Malik says Megalodon would be the logical conclusion from the available evidence, so now Im thinking actress rather than geologist. 10:35 PM EST: Collin Drake unmasked, thanks to an alert correspondent! Hes Darron Meyer, a South African actor, whose profile you can see on IMDB. 10:40 PM EST: Its supposedly someone named Gavin Curring from the South African Department of Environmental Affairs. Refreshingly, he says Collin Drake is a phony, but not-so-refreshingly he then maintains that that fake South African charter boat disaster was caused by an orca rather than a Megalodon. No such person as Gavin Curring, according to a quick Google search, and the guy is an execrable actor. The depth of the Discovery Channels duplicity is truly amazing. 10:51 PM EST: Collin Drake was 100 percent sure he tagged Megalodon last year, but the shark supposedly dove to below 6000 feet. Stunning disclosure: Maybe it wasnt a Megalodon after all. Drake considered all the options, and using Occams Razor, he concludes that there are actually...wait for it....two Megalodons, not one, and theyre reproducing! 10:55 PM: Martin Isaacs, a researcher and filmmaker for the Australian Marine Biodiversity Project, which doesnt exist. Are you surprised that he agrees with Collin Drakes findings? Conditions are right for Megalodon to make a comeback. 11:00 PM: Good night, Megalodon. Good night, Collin Drake. I need to take a long shower. Â   Last year, to kick off Shark Week, the Discovery Channel aired one of the most shameful documentaries in the history of reality TV: Megalodon: The Monster Shark Lives. This two-hour extravaganza starred marine biologist Collin Drake, who was actually played by an Australian soap-opera actor, and had the gall to fabricate a fatal fishing-boat disaster off the coast of South Africa as if it were recorded fact. Essentially, the entire show was made up from start to finishbut enough unwary viewers were taken in that today, millions of people believe Megalodon still prowls the worlds oceans. (Read my review of this show.) Now its almost time for Shark Week 2014, and the Discovery Channel is at it again. Heres the blurb from the official website: In April 2013, a fishing vessel off the coast of South Africa was attacked, killing all on board. A TV crew documented Marine Biologist Collin Drake as he worked to determine the predator responsible. Megalodon: The New Evidence presents Shark Week viewers with shocking new evidence and interview footage.

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